Tonya Reiman

Once you understand that the specific body language signals you are portraying to others generate certain assumptions about you, you can start to manipulate those assumptions in ways that you will now have control over. This means that you can choose how you are perceived, how you come across and whether or not that perception is one that makes a great first impression.

Did you know that most people think that they know how others perceive them, but actually have no clue. Further more, an even higher percentage of people are unintentionally putting out a message that is opposite to the one they want to portray. Some people even think that purposely altering their body language in order to make a positive impression is dishonest. This is just plain silly when you consider that they either don't know how they are perceived or are sending the wrong messages anyway.

Like it or not, first impressions are a fact of life. It is important to understand that other people do not have conscious control over how they react to you. Whether you think people should look past any short comings or you think that they should take you as you are, the truth is, people always have and probably always will make instant judgments about you, based on your first impression.

On page 214 of my book, "The Power of Body Language", I provide you with seventeen things that will turn people off. Here I would like to talk about just a few things you absolutely need to pay attention to so that you can make the best first impression possible. Try to put your initial reactions aside as these are not opinions, they are facts found through numerous studies on this very subject. People will notice a lot about you in a very quick fashion. Everything from how you look, walk, smell and act all come together to portray a lightening quick message to others that is processed in their minds even faster and they have formed an opinion about you whether you like or not. So why not do what you can to put your best foot forward? Take an honest look at how you think others perceive you. Do you have weight to lose? Could you be more physically fit? Do you go overboard with outlandish accessories such as huge earrings or big bulky jewelry? The rule of thumb is that your accessories should add to, not detract from your overall look. In addition they should not distract someone from the message you are trying to portray.

Pay attention to your grooming. Sure, this should go without saying, however i will say it anyway. You should be clean in every sense of the word. Your hands should be clean as should your fingernails, teeth and clothes. Be conservative with your makeup, hair and cologne or perfume. Often times, you might even wish to skip the perfume or cologne all together. As for your makeup, remember you want the other person to focus on you, not your eye shadow or lipstick. Hair style is important also. Ladies, studies have shown that short hair and shoulder-length hair is perceived as more professional and appropriate. Men should ditch the ponytails as short hair is what corporate america finds appropriate. Also guys, make sure you get rid of that fuzz on the back of your neck. Lastly, be sure that you don't have dandruff and if you do, get some dandruff shampoo... it really works.

Looking good is important and so are the signals that your body language is saying to others. Smile, stand up straight, don't slouch, walk with confidence and perfect your handshake. These are all ways in which you can build rapport in that first meeting. Be sure that you do not invade a person's personal space. The general rule is to keep at arm's length. Don't forget to smile as it has enormous impact on another person. Work on your handshake. A good handshake is a great way to exhibit professionalism. The bottom line is - you want people to feel good as well as feel comfortable being around you. when you add effective body language into the mix, you are well on your way to building incredible rapport with everyone you meet.

You have what it takes to make a great first impression. Think about what you can do or any changes you think you can make to your body language. Most everyone can change one or two things that will dramatically change the way in which they are perceived. I congratulate you for being willing to make the changes that will help you make a great first impression. Practice makes perfect. Work on making some changes and see how people react. Ask friends to rate your handshake or ask your family members to give you feedback on your appearance, hair style or even your smile. Get yourself a body language buddy and help each other make some changes and watch each other become even more successful. Give each other feedback and critiques. Remember, you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

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