Tonya Reiman

There are many different ways to shake hands based on what you are looking to accomplish as an end result. Are you looking to show confidence, dominance, submission, equality or something else completely? One of the most important and frequent situations you will encounter will require you to learn how to shake hands in a way that builds rapport and does not send any other confusing signals.

In my book, The Power of Body Language, I teach a ten point system that I developed to show you how to utilize specific pleasing body language elements to build rapport with anyone in almost any situation. Today, I am going to share one of the key points which is developing the rapport building handshake. What I am about to teach you is something you will want to practice frequently. Consider finding a Body Language Buddy. this could be a friend or colleague that is as equally as determined to learn new rapport building skills as you are. Practice shaking hands several times a day for a few weeks or until you feel that you have mastered it.

When you are meeting someone new, be it a stranger or an associate, try to be the first person to extend your hand for the handshake. This is a subconscious signal to the other person that you are an in control confident person. Go towards them, leaning slightly forward, while looking them in the eye and introduce yourself. Reach forward and offer them your hand (palm up) and say something like: "Hi, Tonya Reiman, nice to meet you".

Both yours and their hands should have two qualities. First, the grip should feel easy and have the same pressure that the other person is giving you. Second, the rapport handshake is a neutral handshake and so both of your hands should be straight up and down with your thumbs pointing straight up. Your elbow should be slightly bent which means that you are in a close enough range to shake hands. If your arm is straight, then you are probably too far away to be shaking hands in a way that builds rapport. You want to avoid just shaking the wrist or the fingers ... you should be shaking their entire arm with two or three pumps up and down. The entire handshake should last no more two or three seconds.

There are many elements that go into building rapport with those people you meet. Shaking hands the right way is just one of those elements, but becoming proficient at building rapport has long lasting effects. Building rapport with others is crucial in both personal and business relationships and now that you are mastering the techniques that build rapport with others, it will help you to become a driving force in your own success.

If you have questions or comments about this article, post them in the discussion forum.

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